Sunday, March 17, 2019

Broken...

You wore so many Bracelets, right there on your right arm.

I used to ask why you wore so many.


You just liked them. They were pretty, like you.

Most of them were really nothing special--just Friendship Bracelets. It was you who made them beautiful---just by having them on your arm.

For my own selfish reasons before I delivered them all to the Funeral Home, I kept two.

I let Delia choose one.

I chose one for myself.

Since that day, I haven't taken mine off, except when I shower.

Your Bracelets were divided onto your right and left arms. I didn't have the heart or the energy to correct the Funeral Director. I don't think you really would've minded much either.

Yesterday at Work, I noticed that it was very loose and could slip off my wrist at any moment.

I couldn't risk losing it.

So, I cut the string and removed some beads and put them in my Wallet.

I tightened the string.

As I did that, it broke.

Beads went flying everywhere.

I collected each bead along with that broken string, and put them all away in my Wallet.

This morning, I told Delia what happened and asked if she had any Bracelet String. She's always got some crafty supplies for when inspiration strikes her (which is pretty-much all the time).

She ran up to her Room and came down with some String. I figured out right away that she had cut one of her own Bracelets just so she could fix mine.

"You need it, Mommy. I know how much it means to you."

Before I knew it, she'd fixed it right up, even super-gluing the knot.

I know you're with me no matter what. But, Delia's right. I do need this. 

It's become some sort of security for me I guess. Whenever I'm stressed. Whenever I'm happy. Whenever I'm sad. Whenever I'm angry... I'll touch the Beads.

And I see you.

I see you, and your beautiful smile. I see you, wearing this Bracelet along with your many others.

It calms me.

I miss you so much that sometimes I can't breathe. It'll come out of nowhere. I'll be fine one moment, and the next, I'm a disaster.

Delia's right. I do need this.

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