I don't remember even closing my eyes that night. I must've slept a little.
But I don't remember it.
I remember her face. Oh my Gods, her face. I saw her face when I closed my eyes. And I saw her face when I opened them.
I remember making a phone call just before 5:00am, Friday morning.
I took a chance and called a Funeral Home that had handled everything when my Grandmother passed away in 1996. They did a beautiful job.
This particular Funeral Home had also been longtime friends of the Family for many different reasons. They are a Family business and have been around since the 50s.
I tried to keep myself together, and the Man on the end of that line was so patient as a struggled to get the words out.
"Hello, my Mother passed away suddenly last night and I was wondering if maybe she had any kind of arrangements started with you?"
I choked the words out as best as I could.
He told me that he was at Home, but he was now getting dressed and would head over to the Funeral Home and search the Records. He'd call back in 15 minutes.
I paced a hole in the floor. And, I waited.
He called back in about 14 minutes.
"Hello? Tami? Yes, your Mother does have a file with us. Where is she? Where did she pass?"
I explained that she died at the Hospital. I explained that I know where they put People who die at the Hospital. I didn't want her to be there anymore.
"I'm leaving right now to go and get her, I promise you. "Now, do you want to give yourself a day and then get together tomorrow?"
"No. I need to do this today."
"Will 3:30 this afternoon work?"
"Yes."
"Okay, I'll see you then."
I had about 10 cups of coffee. I screamed. I cried.
And then I showered.
I tried to look as Human as I possibly could. I have no idea why I put makeup on, honestly. Stupid, really.
At 3:00, I started off for the Funeral Home.
The Man greeted me with his deepest condolences and a big hug. He explained that he knew my Mother---they all knew her. And they loved her.
I mean, who didn't? Search for someone who didn't like her, and you won't find anyone. I promise you that.
He brought me into the Office and opened the file that was on his Desk.
Her file.
My Mother was such a planner. I should've known that she would have something like this out there.
We went through her Obituary. She'd written most of it herself. All I had to do was add in a Great-Grandchild, and a couple of Spouses' names.
We made sure it was perfect.
He asked if I wanted to run it in the main Newspaper, or just keep it local. Did you know that the main Newspaper charges $900 for just one day? There was, however, a cheaper way to do it. We could keep it a Summary in that Paper and add that the full Obituary would be available online at the Funeral Home's Website. And, the local Paper charged only a fraction so we could do the full Obituary in that one.
He put a Binder in front of me. It was time to choose the Prayer Cards. And then, the Text was chosen separately out of many options. He told me to take my time and choose whatever I wanted for her.
I think I chose well.
He looked me in the eye and told me that it was time to go downstairs and select a Casket.
No. No, I just can't. It is a Box. It is where my Mother will be going. And it will go into the Ground.
Immediately, I started crying. Stupid Tami. Again, why with the Makeup?
But, I made it to my feet and followed him down the Stairs. We walked through the Gallery of, I guess beautiful (?) Coffins.
I saw one that caught my eye.
Blue.
She'd have that. She'd love that. Blue was her favorite. Blue, like her Eyes.
Yes, that one will do.
He quickly jots down my selection and we walk upstairs and back into the Office.
He tells me that everything is all set, except...
My Mother chose to be buried in New London. She wanted to be in the Cemetery where my Grandparents are. He had been trying to reach them, but had no luck yet.
We couldn't schedule the Wake or the Funeral without that finalized.
So, I'd have to wait until Monday.
Finally, he started punching numbers into his Calculator. I held my breath.
Did I go overboard? Did I do too much? Will things be too expensive? Which Credit Card or Cards, rather, would I put this on?
Finally, the total.
I gasped.
Wow... Maybe I did do too much.
But whatever. I reached into my Purse and found my Wallet without looking.
He pulled a piece of paper from her file.
"So, this is what the total is..."
Showing me the paper, he said...
"And this... This is what she paid."
What? Paid in full? Are you kidding me?
Here come those tears again.
She truly had thought of everything.
With a little left over, I was able to do a couple more things for her.
He reminded me that I'd need to bring some Clothing. I'd need to show him a Picture of how she did her hair. I'd need to bring any extras that I wanted her to wear, or have with her.
With his condolences once more and another hug, I was on my way. I would expect to hear from him on Monday.
I got into my Car. I actually exhaled and thanked her for helping me through that.
That became a thing. Every step of this, I'd say:
"Okay Mom, We got through that. We have this to do next. Help me."
So many more steps to take...
But I don't remember it.
I remember her face. Oh my Gods, her face. I saw her face when I closed my eyes. And I saw her face when I opened them.
I remember making a phone call just before 5:00am, Friday morning.
I took a chance and called a Funeral Home that had handled everything when my Grandmother passed away in 1996. They did a beautiful job.
This particular Funeral Home had also been longtime friends of the Family for many different reasons. They are a Family business and have been around since the 50s.
I tried to keep myself together, and the Man on the end of that line was so patient as a struggled to get the words out.
"Hello, my Mother passed away suddenly last night and I was wondering if maybe she had any kind of arrangements started with you?"
I choked the words out as best as I could.
He told me that he was at Home, but he was now getting dressed and would head over to the Funeral Home and search the Records. He'd call back in 15 minutes.
I paced a hole in the floor. And, I waited.
He called back in about 14 minutes.
"Hello? Tami? Yes, your Mother does have a file with us. Where is she? Where did she pass?"
I explained that she died at the Hospital. I explained that I know where they put People who die at the Hospital. I didn't want her to be there anymore.
"I'm leaving right now to go and get her, I promise you. "Now, do you want to give yourself a day and then get together tomorrow?"
"No. I need to do this today."
"Will 3:30 this afternoon work?"
"Yes."
"Okay, I'll see you then."
I had about 10 cups of coffee. I screamed. I cried.
And then I showered.
I tried to look as Human as I possibly could. I have no idea why I put makeup on, honestly. Stupid, really.
At 3:00, I started off for the Funeral Home.
The Man greeted me with his deepest condolences and a big hug. He explained that he knew my Mother---they all knew her. And they loved her.
I mean, who didn't? Search for someone who didn't like her, and you won't find anyone. I promise you that.
He brought me into the Office and opened the file that was on his Desk.
Her file.
My Mother was such a planner. I should've known that she would have something like this out there.
We went through her Obituary. She'd written most of it herself. All I had to do was add in a Great-Grandchild, and a couple of Spouses' names.
We made sure it was perfect.
He asked if I wanted to run it in the main Newspaper, or just keep it local. Did you know that the main Newspaper charges $900 for just one day? There was, however, a cheaper way to do it. We could keep it a Summary in that Paper and add that the full Obituary would be available online at the Funeral Home's Website. And, the local Paper charged only a fraction so we could do the full Obituary in that one.
He put a Binder in front of me. It was time to choose the Prayer Cards. And then, the Text was chosen separately out of many options. He told me to take my time and choose whatever I wanted for her.
I think I chose well.
He looked me in the eye and told me that it was time to go downstairs and select a Casket.
No. No, I just can't. It is a Box. It is where my Mother will be going. And it will go into the Ground.
Immediately, I started crying. Stupid Tami. Again, why with the Makeup?
But, I made it to my feet and followed him down the Stairs. We walked through the Gallery of, I guess beautiful (?) Coffins.
I saw one that caught my eye.
Blue.
She'd have that. She'd love that. Blue was her favorite. Blue, like her Eyes.
Yes, that one will do.
He quickly jots down my selection and we walk upstairs and back into the Office.
He tells me that everything is all set, except...
My Mother chose to be buried in New London. She wanted to be in the Cemetery where my Grandparents are. He had been trying to reach them, but had no luck yet.
We couldn't schedule the Wake or the Funeral without that finalized.
So, I'd have to wait until Monday.
Finally, he started punching numbers into his Calculator. I held my breath.
Did I go overboard? Did I do too much? Will things be too expensive? Which Credit Card or Cards, rather, would I put this on?
Finally, the total.
I gasped.
Wow... Maybe I did do too much.
But whatever. I reached into my Purse and found my Wallet without looking.
He pulled a piece of paper from her file.
"So, this is what the total is..."
Showing me the paper, he said...
"And this... This is what she paid."
What? Paid in full? Are you kidding me?
Here come those tears again.
She truly had thought of everything.
With a little left over, I was able to do a couple more things for her.
He reminded me that I'd need to bring some Clothing. I'd need to show him a Picture of how she did her hair. I'd need to bring any extras that I wanted her to wear, or have with her.
With his condolences once more and another hug, I was on my way. I would expect to hear from him on Monday.
I got into my Car. I actually exhaled and thanked her for helping me through that.
That became a thing. Every step of this, I'd say:
"Okay Mom, We got through that. We have this to do next. Help me."
So many more steps to take...
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