Phyllis Maria Cologera

Whenever anything bad happened to me, health-wise or other, my Mother would always say:

"I wish I could take it for you."

I mean, the Woman dealt with enough...

MS onset when she was only 16 years old. She was the youngest reported case back then---in 1966. It wasn't until 1974 when she finally learned her diagnosis. I was 3 months old and in the Hospital, undergoing surgery for Hydrocephalus. They were putting in a Shunt. She was worried about me. The Doctor assured her that I would be fine. They said they were more worried about her and the effects that the stress of it all would have on her MS. That's how she found out. 8 years after the onset. She was 24.

She was legally blind.

She lost her first Husband to someone who he deemed more "worthy" and more "capable" of being with him. But, you know what they say, right?

"If they do it for you, they'll do it to you."

His second Wife definitely learned that. He was doing the same to her. And, he passed away in 1990 at just 39 years old. Metastatic Malignant Melanoma.

She lost her second Husband to a heart attack.

She'd lost her own Mother in 1996. I was convinced she never cried about it. But then, I heard her one night. She was crying. She was asking my Grandmother why she left. She was begging her to come back.

And wouldn't you know? There I was on May 31st, standing by her Hospital Bed, touching her face, doing the exact same thing.

She suffered an attack of Encephalitis brought on by Shingles in 1985. She was in a Coma for a month and woke up on Mother's Day. That attack of Encephalitis rendered her paralyzed from the waist down and she remained bedridden until her very untimely death last month.

She had a Urostomy.

She had a Colostomy.

She was Diabetic.

She'd lost the majority of her Teeth. She finally got the rest of them pulled and was fitted with Dentures. However, she hated the Dentures and decided not to even use them at all.

She had Bedsores. The reason she was in that Hospital this final time was that they were closing them up using fancy new techniques that hadn't been tried on her before. She was there almost 2 months and things were going so well. She was talking about going home and was really looking forward to it.

She had countless infections. Bladder Infections and UTIs were the worst for her. They would affect her in a way that would make her check-out completely. I remember once I'd gone to the Hospital and was talking to her for probably about 20 minutes. Finally she asked...

"Did you see Tami at the MS Party?"

She'd been through all of this and so much more. But yet, whenever something happened to me, or anyone else for that matter... She'd say:

"I wish I could take it for you."

Mom. You deserved so much more. You deserved to die of old age. Hell, you could've even had been really sick and it would've been understandable for you to go.

But you weren't.

You deserved better than how it ended.

I wish I could take it for you.